Anonymous Q&A between the genders. Ask honestly. Get answered honestly. No profiles to perform for.
“Why does he go cold the second things start to feel real? Genuine question, no judgment, I just need to understand.”
“Because the moment something feels real I realise I have no idea what I'm doing, and panicking quietly looks the same as not caring.”
Your friends mean well. They also share your worldview, your habits, and probably your gender. Which means when something feels confusing, you get back a louder version of what you already think. That's not insight, that's an echo.
Here, your question lands in front of the gender you're actually trying to understand. Not a panel of friends, not a relationship expert. Real people, anonymous, willing to tell you the unflattering version.
“Honestly? 80% of the time it's a soft no. The other 20% he genuinely forgot. If you want a real answer, propose a specific time. "I'll let you know" dies the second it meets a Tuesday at 7.”
“Sweet alone? Mixed signal. Sweet + something specific? You're winning. Sweet by itself, said softly, with a small smile she doesn't quite commit to? Brace yourself.”
“Almost always the second one. Day 1 you're "just busy." Day 3 you're embarrassed. Day 5 you've talked yourself into believing she didn't really like you anyway. By day 7 you're just a guy who didn't text back.”
Post anonymously. Pick a topic. Your gender shows, your identity never does.
The other side replies. See the gender split, read perspectives you couldn't get from your friends.
Join a live room. Pull someone aside for a 1-on-1. Or just read until something clicks.
The other side already has an answer. They just need someone to ask.